


A Lack of Objectivity

by Callie



Series: Still Waters [1]
Category: Sanctuary (TV)
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-08
Updated: 2011-05-08
Packaged: 2017-10-19 04:20:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/196806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Callie/pseuds/Callie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maybe it wasn't the best idea, but it didn't matter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Lack of Objectivity

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cerie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cerie/gifts).



> Spoilers through 3.14, Metamorphosis.

Will hoped that no one was hanging around the Sanctuary when he let himself in. The entrance hall was empty, and he breathed a sigh of relief. Pulling off his jacket and loosening his tie, he walked down the corridor--around the corner, up a flight of stairs, and almost made it back to his room when he walked straight into Magnus. The stack of folders she'd been carrying slipped from her arms, papers settling in little drifts all over the carpet.

"Oh, God, I'm sorry," he said, scrambling to pick up the papers. "I wasn't paying attention."

"It's quite all right, Will," she replied easily, slipping papers back into their folders as he gave them back to her. "I didn't expect you back so early."

"I didn't expect me back so early either," Will admitted. "But here I am."

"Here you are," Magnus agreed.

Will thought for a minute she would press him for details, but she didn't, and he was glad. Not that he thought Magnus would say something like _I told you so_ , or anything like that, but he didn't exactly waht to talk about it, either. "I'm just gonna... go to bed." He jerked his thumb in the vague direction of his room, shrugging.

"Of course. Sleep well."

"Yeah," he said. "You too."

Instead of going to his room, though, he waited until Magnus disappeared around the corner and then he took the stairs at the far end of the corridor that led up to the roof. He wasn't tired, and he needed some fresh air. The night had pretty much been a disaster, and he wanted to think it over.

Maybe disaster was overdoing it, he thought, as he sat down on the ledge--well away from the edge, since he was no fan of heights. There were no kidnappings, shootings, plane crashes, drownings, poisonings, mutations, or death involved, which by Sanctuary standards meant it was a pretty uneventful evening, but by _Will's_ standards? It sucked. He had not pictured the night ending with him coming home alone, especially not this early in the evening, but that was how it worked out. Too early to go to bed, too early to wander around the Sanctuary and risk _dude, too bad_ from Henry and _you totally creeped her out, didn't you?_ from Kate.

So the roof it was.

"I thought you were going to bed?"

Magnus's voice startled him enough that if he'd been sitting on the edge, he would have fallen off. As it was, he flailed around stupidly a little and grabbed at the wall behind him. "Jesus, Magnus," he said, shaking his head. "Scare the crap out of me, why don't you?"

"My apologies." She sat down nearby, turned towards him, and Will felt like he was some kind of Abnormal specimen that had suddenly caught her interest. "I take it your evening didn't go as planned?"

"Yeah." He drew the word out reluctantly. "It uh... things didn't really work out."

"I see."

Though she didn't _say_ anything else, Will felt like he had to elaborate, so he went on. "It wasn't an argument, or anything. Abby just... well, I think the weirdness was too much for her. The whole date, she kept looking over her shoulder, jumping at little noises, like she expected someone to jump out from behind the dessert cart and come after us or something. And then I wanted to tell her about the whole... Cillobar thing, and didn't really know how to, and she got that I was hiding something...and eventually we both just kind of realized it wasn't going to work. Don't worry," he added quickly. "I don't think she's going to talk about the Sanctuary with anyone."

"I didn't think she would," Magnus said easily. "She seemed to genuinely care about our work. It's unfortunate that things didn't work out between you."

"Yeah, well." Will thought it was a little more than unfortunate, but he wasn't going to whine to Magnus about it. "At least she got out before... you know." _Before she ended up like Clara_ , he meant to say, but he left that alone.

Magnus was quiet for a little bit. She didn't move, other than the wind rustling her hair a little. There was always some wind up here on the roof. "It's the hardest part of what we do," she said quietly. "The loneliness. The nature of what we do separates us from everyone else. It can't be helped."

"Yeah," he agreed, and shrugged a little. "Doesn't it... I mean, don't you get tired of it? The work's important, but that can't be the only thing. We have to have a balance. People have feelings--"

"Needs."

"Yeah." The _yeah_ was kind of a reflex response, because he'd expected her to argue that she was _too busy for that sort of thing_ , and there she'd dropped in the word he'd been looking for. It was hard for Will to think about Magnus having _needs_. Emotional ones, yeah, and sometimes he was the guy who had to point them out to her when she refused to acknowledge what was beating her over the head, but he'd been talking more about the physical kind and he kind of had a problem thinking of Magnus like that.

Magnus shifted a little on the ledge, the impossibly high heel of her shoe making a delicate scraping sound on the stone beneath their feet. Will liked to think he was halfway decent at reading her tells by now--the few she ever gave away, because she was damn good at keeping herself to herself--and she only got this way when they talked about anything bordering on too personal for her liking. It was that shifty kind of look she'd given him when she tried to lie about meeting Olaf, the glance away that had followed her admission she'd wanted him to hang around for Ashley's birthday.

Will never knew what to make of that look.

"Relationships are a complication," she finally said, looking over the roof at the lights of New City across the river. "A distraction from our work." She held her jacket closed against the chill with one hand, the fingers of the other drumming lightly against the ledge where she sat.

"Do you really mean that?" Will asked her. "Or is it just easier to tell yourself that because it's easier to keep to yourself than deal with losing somebody when it eventually happens?" He hadn't meant to be so blunt about it, but by now he was tired of Magnus pretending she didn't need a break, pretending that she was above basic human needs like romantic companionship, pretending she didn't have the same damn feelings and needs and wants as the rest of them.

Magnus's expression almost made him wish he hadn't said it. Almost. "That's hardly fair." She pulled her jacket tighter, wrapping both arms around herself. "When you've lived as long as I have--"

"Right," he said, cutting her off. "You know, we've already had this conversation. It's a classic. You've been down that road too many times. I get it. But what good does it do you to live so long--who _knows_ how much longer you're going to live--if you're not going to allow yourself the things that make you human? I mean, do you seriously want to spend the rest of your life sleeping alone _every single night_? Never wake up with anybody again, or kiss somebody for the first time, or hell, never even just hold hands with somebody? Is that really what you want the rest of your life to be like? You really want to spend the next hundred years of your life like that? Because I don't." He shrugged; he wasn't angry or irritated, he just couldn't believe he was actually having this conversation with Magnus, and she had neither told him off or kicked his ass. "I grew up alone. That was enough alone for me for the rest of my life."

Magnus didn't reply, and after a few moments of silence, Will regretted some of what he said. Not _what_ he said, exactly, but maybe he hadn't really phrased it the best way. It was out there now, though, and he couldn't take it back. "Magnus, look," he began. "I'm sorry, I just--"

"It's quite all right, Will," she said, and yeah, she used his name, but she might as well have called him _Dr. Zimmerman_ for the chill formality in her tone. "I think I'd like to be alone now, if you don't mind."

Well, damn. Will debated whether or not he ought to try to smooth it over with her some more, and in the end decided not to. When Magnus said she wanted to be alone, she absolutely meant it, and if there was one thing Will had learned in the last three years it was when it was okay to push her and when it was just better to back the fuck away. This was one of the latter times.

"I'm sorry," Will said again. As he passed her, he touched her shoulder, and he felt the brush of her fingers against his. He told himself that she was acknowledging his apology with the gesture, not brushing him off.

 

*****

Hours later, there was a knock at his door.

Will had fallen asleep fairly quickly, and slept _hard,_ which meant that it took a little while for the knock to wake him. By the time he realized it, he was pulling on a t-shirt and doing the kind of sleepy shuffle to the door that more often than not ended with him tripping up and falling on his ass.

Thankfully, there was no falling, because it was Magnus at the door, still dressed for the day, minus her jacket. "People generally use this time of night for sleeping," he mumbled in her general direction, rubbing at his face in an effort to wake up. "Everything okay?"

She shook her head a little, enough that the thin, dangling earrings she wore swung and sparkled a little with the motion. "Everything's fine," she said. "May I come in?"

"Uh, yeah," Will said. "Sure." He opened the door wider to let her in, and wished he had thought to do something about the piles of laundry heaped on most of the flat surfaces in the room. Hell, there wasn't even a place for her to sit, and he hastily scooped a pile of t-shirts off the couch, tossed them in the closet, and closed the door. (The door didn't actually close, but it was close enough.) "You want to sit down?"

Magnus did sit, for a moment, and then she was up again, pacing a little. "I've been thinking about what you said earlier," she said quietly.

"What, on the roof?"

"On the roof, yes."

"Oh. Um, look, I'm sorry about that. It was out of line."

"Not really. You were honest, which is something I've always appreciated from you." Magnus was still pacing a little, something Will wasn't used to seeing her do.

"Could have been more tactful, though."

Magnus acknowledged that with a little nod and hesitated; her breath caught in the way it did, on rare occasions, when it seemed like she was about to say something and swallowed those words back in order to choose better ones. "In the van on the way to the warehouse," she said finally, looking away. Her voice was tight. Will didn't need more than that to know she meant _on the way to capture you_. "I told them that they should be prepared to do what was necessary in case the treatment didn't work, or containment failed. That they could recuse themselves if they could not, no questions asked. I should have recused myself."

"Magnus..."

She held up a hand, not dismissing him, but clearly asking him to let her finish. "I thought I had to be the one to do it, if necessary, but in the end I couldn't, anymore than I could Ashley. Even if it wasn't really you, anymore. I couldn't do it."

Will wanted to interrupt her, to tell her she didn't have to say whatever it was she was so intent on saying, but she seemed to have something she wanted to get off her chest, and Will figured the best thing to do was just to let her get it out. So he just looked at her, waiting for her to say more.

If she would.

"Relationships are a complication." She'd said it on the roof, earlier, and Will wondered at her repeating it now. "You asked me if it was really what I thought, or if it was just easier... the truth is that it's both. When I didn't think I could cure you..."

"Hey, look." Will was having trouble keeping his mouth shut, and it wasn't just his let's-talk-this-out side that was having trouble shutting up. "Don't beat yourself up over it. You busted your ass trying to fix me, and believe me, I appreciate it."

Magnus shook her head again. "This isn't self-chastisement, Will," she said. "Not even for my lack of objectivity where you're concerned."

"Lack... of objectivity." Will repeated the words slowly, and the possibility of what she was trying to say came into focus.

"Yes." She finally looked at him then, and Will felt blindsided by it. By _her_. It was probably the most open look she'd given him since he'd known her, but he couldn't read her at all. "I shouldn't have allowed it to happen."

"You can't keep everyone at arm's length for the rest of your life," Will pointed out. His mouth was dry and the words felt thick and stupid when he said them, but Magnus didn't seem to notice, or mind if she did.

"I can't."

"No."

"I tried."

"Yeah."

"You didn't really permit it." It wasn't an accusation. It was simply a statement.

"Not really." He wished he was actually wearing pants, so he could shove his hands in his pockets, because right now he didn't know what to do with them. Most of the time he felt like he could almost keep up with her, but there were times, like right now, where he felt about three steps behind her. "Magnus--"

"I should go. It's quite late. And as you said, people generally use this time for sleeping."

"Wait." Magnus hadn't turned to go, but he caught her wrist anyway. Stupid boxers, having no pockets, nowhere to put his hands to keep them from doing impulsive crap like that. He could feel her pulse under his thumb, quick and strong and alive.

"This isn't the best idea."

"Probably not." Will wasn't even sure what the idea _was_ , much less whether it was any good or not, but agreeing seemed the smart thing to do right then.

The heels she wore put her right at his height. He'd never really noticed that before, which was funny, because he was supposed to be the guy that noticed things. Now, he noticed. He noticed her breath catching, getting more shallow, the flush high in her cheeks, and wondered if this was the kind of thing that paved the road to hell--if it did, he was surely going, because when she closed the little space between them and kissed him, he didn't stop her. He couldn't have stopped her, even if he'd wanted to. There might have been a time or two, here and there, where he'd thought about what it might be like to kiss Magnus, and on those occasions (more than a few) he'd imagined that she kissed the way she did everything else: focused and intent.

But he'd gotten it wrong, underestimating her in the most indescribable of ways.

Will wanted to keep on kissing her. He wanted a lot of things, actually, but after a minute or so of that he made himself pull his mouth away and catch his breath. He still held her wrist loosely in his fingers.

"This is never a good idea, Will," she said quietly.

"You still want to go?" He rubbed his thumb lightly along the inside of her wrist. "Because if you do, I get it. It's okay."

"No."

She didn't elaborate, but kissed him again, and Will wasn't going to argue. He'd never kissed anyone that kissed the way Magnus did, not with this much feeling, and it was too easy to get caught up in it and not think of of the many reasons--he was sure they would be perfectly good, sensible reasons if he stopped to think about them--this was a less than good idea. He dropped her wrist to cup her face and kiss her more deeply, and she sighed into his mouth. It was a good sound, a _wanting_ sound, and at the same time it made him ache almost to the point of hurt.

He wanted to hear that sigh again.

They were just a few steps from the bed, and it was nothing to back up and sit on it, leaning back against the headboard, pulling her into his lap. Her skirt edged up her thighs as she straddled him, and he slid his hands under it, nudging it higher so he could cup her hips. Magnus pressed her body against his, grinding her pelvis against his cock with just enough friction that he thought for one heart-stopping second he would come right then and there.

Will swore a little under his breath and pushed her hips up off him a bit, not wanting this to be over before it even started, but she made a little hungry, determined sound and pushed against his hands, wanting more contact. He worked a hand between them instead, and she got the hint, shifting to take more of her weight on her knees so he could spread her thighs apart a little more. He didn't take the time to remove her underwear, small scrap of fabric that it was, but pushed it to the side, sliding his fingers against her wet heat, making her gasp and press against his hand. Magnus had her hands on his shoulders, supporting herself, and as she worked herself hard against his hand she dropped her head a little, close, cheek resting against his.

"Please," she whispered. "I want--"

"Shh." Will didn't know why he felt he had to soothe her, other than maybe they were both getting a little worked up for this, going a little too fast for him to process--he felt three steps behind again--but she became a little less frantic then, and he let up a little. Just a little; he spread her more open with his fingers, alternating teasing her clit and pressing his fingers inside her until she ground down hard against his hand and shuddered. She'd been noisy until then, making hungry little sounds of want, but when she came she was quiet, shivering against him with a wordless sigh.

She rested against him then, catching her breath, and Will held her, lightly stroking her back. He hoped she wasn't having second thoughts--he wouldn't blame her if she did--but then she stretched out more fully against him, working her thigh between his, and he guessed second thoughts were not part of the equation right now. So he nudged her over onto her back, kissing her softly. Magnus was a little calmer now, and let him, and he felt a little less desperate than before too, so where they hadn't taken the time to undress each other before, they did now.

Magnus made a little face when he dropped her clothes in the floor by the bed. Will guessed she meant it to be a disapproving frown, but to him it just looked like a cute little pout, and he laughed; she retaliated by kissing him thoroughly, and he let her. A little bit later her hand slid down his chest, over his stomach, and closed lightly around his cock; he let her do that, too, pressing up into her hand with a groan. Either she'd gotten the hint that he couldn't take too much too fast, or she was deliberately taking it slower, or both, because though it was good, he didn't feel like he was going to immediately lose it, and could just enjoy it.

When she slid her leg over to straddle him a little later, though, that was a totally different story, and he slowly let out a breath between clenched teeth. "Careful," he warned her, and then added, "there's condoms in the drawer."

She slid down on top of him and shook her head a little. Her breasts were beautiful, full and smooth, and he cupped them in his hands as she leaned down to kiss him. "Unnecessary, but your vigilance is appreciated," she murmured, and there was that little sigh into his mouth again as she rocked against him. The sound made him greedy, and he wanted to hear it again. She lifted up a little, till he was almost out of her, and slid down again, and then Will was not so much greedy as he was _desperate_. Desperate to come, desperate to make _her_ come again, and he gripped her hips hard as they moved together. She came again first, not nearly as quietly as before, and the sensation pushed Will into his own heated climax.

He closed his eyes for a minute, coming back to himself, and when he opened them again Magnus was curled against his chest, relaxed and--Will hoped--peaceful. There were a couple of little clip things holding some of her hair back from her face, but they had half fallen out; Will unclipped them and eased his fingers through her hair until the tangles were gone. She made a satisfied sound and her eyes fluttered a little, then closed.

"You okay?" he asked.

"Mmm."

He grinned a little at that. Whatever objectivity he had where Magnus was concerned was pretty much nonexistent at this point, and he wasn't at all sorry to realize it. "Gonna stay a while?"

"Mmm."

Will took that for a yes and pulled the sheet up around them. There was something about being skin-to-skin with her that completely satisfied Will's craving for physical contact in a way that had never quite happened with anybody else, and he let himself just enjoy it for a few minutes before sleep caught up with him.

He could get used to this.

 

*****

When he woke in the morning, Magnus was gone.

And he was late for the staff meeting.

Will cursed and threw on his clothes--checking quickly in the mirror to make sure he hadn't turned into anything strange overnight, a new habit whenever he woke up late--and hurried downstairs only to find Magnus alone in her office.

"I cancelled the staff meeting," she said, without looking up from the papers on her desk. She was wearing one of her black suits, something he hadn't seen her wear in a long time, and her hair was pulled back in a sleek knot. Will felt absurdly underdressed.

"You could have told me," he said, and kicked himself for sounding petulant.

"I'm leaving for Paris in a few hours," she said. She shuffled some papers neatly into folders, never looking up. "You'll be in charge in my absence."

Paris? Will hadn't noticed any trips on the calendar in the near future, and definitely not ones to Paris. "Uh... okay. Magnus? Is there something going on?"

"I've a meeting with several of the heads of house in the region," she explained.

"You can't do a teleconference?"

"No."

"Okay." He drummed his fingers lightly on her desk and waited for her to look up.

He waited a while.

Finally, she looked up. "I'm quite busy, Will. I have a great many things to do before I catch my flight. Was there something else?"

He pressed his hands flat to the desk, then let go and backed away. "No, I guess not. Have fun in Paris."

 

*****

His phone rang in the middle of the night. Will looked at it before answering.

It was Magnus.

"It's three in the morning," he said, instead of hello. Why couldn't Magnus keep normal hours? Normal, this-is-what-time-we-sleep and this-is-when-we-are-awake hours?

"I apologize," she said. "I didn't take into account the time difference."

 _Because you aren't usually asleep at three am anyway,_ he thought grumpily. "It's okay. Something wrong?"

"No, everything's fine. I just wanted to be sure everything's all right there."

"Yeah," he said. He rolled over onto his back and looked at the ceiling. "Everything's peachy."

"The new intakes?"

"All squared away. No possessions, mutations, kidnappings, lost time, or doors to other dimensions in the last forty-eight hours. Perfectly normal and boring, just the way I like it."

"Excellent." She was quiet then, so much so that Will wondered if she was still on the line.

"You still there?"

"Oh. Yes, I'm still here."

"Was there something else you wanted?" He couldn't help but be a little cranky. It was three in the damn morning, and she'd left for Paris with zero acknowledgement of what happened the night before.

Also, he was hungry. He wondered what time the Big Guy would be up to start breakfast.

"Actually, yes," she said, in a quieter tone that made Will wake up completely. "I wanted to... apologize."

"Yeah?"

"I behaved badly," she said, and Will's pissy mood evaporated. A little. "This isn't generally how I behave, with a--"

"I get it," Will interrupted quickly, not wanting her to finish that sentence in case it ended with _a friend_ , or _a colleague_. "I didn't think it was."

"Well." He could practically _hear_ her fidgeting on the other end of the line.

"It doesn't have to be a... a thing," he said.

"It doesn't?"

"No. I mean, relationships are complicated, and the lack of objectivity... you know, maybe it isn't the best thing for your work. Our work."

She didn't reply, and it suddenly dawned on Will that maybe that wasn't exactly what she was trying to say, and maybe he should have just shut up a long time ago.

"Um. Unless you um... wanted it to be a thing. In which case, I am completely open to the possibility of a thing. Absolutely."

Was she laughing at him? He was pretty sure she was laughing at him, silently, where he couldn't see her. "I am also open to the possibility of a _thing_ ," she said, and then he _knew_ she was laughing at him. Secretly.

Yeah, that objectivity was long gone.

"Okay." He was glad she couldn't see him; he was grinning like a fool, he was pretty sure.

"I should warn you, I'm not good at this. At _things._ " She sounded a little hesitant, but without being able to see her, it was hard to tell. Magnus was hard to read anyway, and when he couldn't see her it just made it that much trickier.

He'd learn.

"It's okay," he said. "It doesn't even really have to be a thing. We can just see what happens. To be honest, I'm not that great at things either."

"You're very eloquent at three in the morning."

"That's what happens when you expect coherency before coffee." Then there was an enormous bang from downstairs, and some loud, bird-like squawking as an alarm went off, and Will jumped out of bed and grabbed his clothes. "Shit, gotta go!"

"Have fun!" Now she was laughing at him for real, and Will hung up on her as he ran out the door.

It was just another early morning at the Sanctuary, and Will loved it.


End file.
